Luck of the Draw

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Luck of the Draw

"Alright, gather 'round! It's time to draw for the winner of the twenty four hour , all expense paid trip for two to Earth!" the demon guard explained to the inhabitants of Hell.

The people did as they were told and gathered by the guard.

"Okay the winner is... Cell!"

"What?!" the members of the Ginyu Force exclaimed in unison.

"Okay Cell, who are you gonna take with you?" the guard asked.

King Kold winked at Cell. "Take me, Cell. If you do I promise I'll make it worth your while."

Cell stepped back from King Kold. "Uh...no thanks. I think I'll take Frieza."

"What, Fieza?! What does my son have that I don't?!"

"Actually it's what he doesn't have...A CRUSH ON ME!"

Frieza stuck his tongue out at his father.

"Okay here are the rules--"

"There are rules?! What fun is that?!"

The guard ignored Cell and continued. "You have twenty four hours and no killing is allowed!"

"N-no killing? Well I might as well stay in Hell!" Frieza shouted.

King Kold walked over and put his arm around Cell. "Well if Frieza isn't going than that means I can."

"Okay first get the fuck off me, and second Frieza never said that he wasn't going!"

King Kold turned to his son. "Are you going?"

"I guess." Frieza pouted.

"Okay the bus is waiting. The bus will take you to the check in station, where Baba will take you to Earth." the guard led the two to the bus.

Frieza started maniacally laughing on the bus ride to the check in station.

"What's your problem?" Cell questioned.

"I can finally exact my revenge on those pathetic monkeys!"

"And how are you going to do that? We're not allowed to kill, remember?"

Frieza whispered something to Cell.

They both started maniacally laughing for the rest of the bus ride.

Baba was waiting for the two tyrants when they arrived.

From the check in station Baba transported them to a deserted island on the Earth. "I will return in twenty four hours."

"Okay, first thing we gotta do is find that dragonball radar that that big mouth woman I saw on Namek has!"

"I think she's married to Vegeta."

Frieza started laughing again. "What?! She was stupid enough to marry that damn monkey!"

"I think they live in some building called Capsule something."

"Do you know where it is?"

"I think so. I once absorbed some people who were talking about some Bulma girl living at Capsule something."

"Well let's go!"

Cell and Frieza took off into the sky and headed towards The 'Capsule something' building.

After flying around for alittle while the two came across a large building that said 'Capsule Corp'.

"Okay, I think this is it." Cell whispered as they landed behind a few bushes in the Capsule Corp yard.

"How are we suppose to get the dragonball radar without someone seeing us?"

"I don't know."

Frieza and Cell heard something and ducked down.

"Damn woman!" Vegeta yelled as he stomped out of the Capsule Corp and over to his gravity chamber.

"Atleast we know where Vegeta is. Now there's only two other people to worry about,Trunks and that Bulma woman." Cell explained.

"Who's Trunks?"

"Vegeta's kid."

"Vegeta had a kid?! Man has he went soft!" Frieza laughed.

Frieza and Cell went around to the back of Capsule Corp.

"Should we try going through the back door?"

"No! We still don't know where the others are! Think before you speak next time, Frieza!"

"Well then how in the hell are we suppose to get the damn radar?!"

"I have an idea!" Cell flew up in the air. "Follow me!"

Cell lead Frieza to a clothing shop just outside of Satan City.

"Why are we here, Cell?"

"Just follow me!"

The employees of the clothing store screamed at the sight of Frieza and Cell when they entered the store.

"Excuse me, do you have any dresses in his size?" Cell politely asked an employee.

"Y-y-yes." was all the frightened employee could get out. "O-over there."

"What the hell do you mean dresses, Cell?!"

"You'll see."

Cell looked through a few of the dress racks until he finally grabbed a little purple dress. "Try this on!"

"What?! You expect me to wear a dress?!"

"It's the only way we can get the dragon radar!"

"How is me wearing a dress gonna help us get the dragon radar?!"

"Just do it! I'll explain later!"

A few minutes later Frieza emerged from the changing room wearing the purple dress.

Cell pulled a camera out of his tail and took a few pictures of Frieza.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"I just wanted to bring a couple pictures back for the guys in hell to see!" Cell laughed.

"If we go back."

"Okay let's go!"

"I'm still wearing the dress!"


All of the employees were too scared to say anything about Frieza and Cell not paying for the dress.

"This isn't the way back to Capsule Corp, where are we going?"

"You need some stuff to go with your dress!"

"What do you mean 'stuff'?!"

"Oh you'll see."

"'Claires'? What the hell?" Frieza asked as the tyrants landed in front of another store.

The girl working at Claires wasn't scared by the appearence of Cell and Frieza. "Yo, welcome to Claires Accessories! Is there anything I can help you guys with?"

"I don't know. Why are we here, Cell?"

The girl turned to Frieza, who was still wearing the dress. "I think that it is so cool that you can display your homosexuality openly!"

Cell started laughing.

"What?! I'm not gay!"

"Then why are you wearing that dress?"

"Uh...I don't know. Why am I wearing this, Cell?"

The woman looked over at Cell. "So is he like your boyfriend?"

"I'm not gay either!" yelled Cell.

"Well whatever! What can I help you guys with?"

"We need a wig and alot of make up!" Cell explained.

"Okay the wigs are over there, and the make up is over there." the woman pointed.

"Cell looked through the wigs until he found one that he thought would suit Frieza. The wig was blonde and curly.

Next Cell moved on to the make up.

All of the different colours and brands confused Cell. "Man, maybe I should've brought King Kold."

After about ten minutes of looking through the make up Cell just grabbed whatever colours he tought would look best on Frieza.

All together he got green lipstick, blue eye shadow, and pink blush.

"What's the deal with all of the make up?"

"It'll go with your dress."

"What?! First you expect me to wear a dress and now make up?!"

"You want that dragon radar, don't you?"

"Okay, let's just get this over with."

"Hey dudes! You guys like have to pay for that!" the woman yelled to the tyrants as they left the store.

Of course, Frieza and Cell just ignored her.

"What are we going now?!" Frieza asked as the two took off into the sky.

"We gotta find a place where I can do your make up and wig."

"You still haven't told me what your plan is!"

"You find out soon enough!"

They finally landed in a secluded part of Mount Paozu.

"How in the hell do you use this stuff?!" the frusterated Cell demanded.

"Well, the lipstick goes on your lips."

"No shit! I meant the other suff!"

"It's pretty self explainatory. The eye shadow goes of your eyes and the blush goes on your cheeks."

"How do you know so much about make up?"

Frieza blushed. "My father."

After a few dozen tries Cell finally succeeded in putting the make up on Frieza.

"Okay, next up is the wig! That can't be that hard!"

"Why can't you be the one wearing the dress and make up?!"

"I'm green and have wings! Don't you think someone would notice?"

It only took Cell three tries to get the wig properly on Frieza. "Okay, now you're ready!"

"Ready for what, Cell?"

"I'll explain when we get back to Capsule Corp."


Cell and Frieza went back to Capsule Corp and hid behind the same bushes as last time.

"So what's your great idea?"

"You're going to knock on the door and distract Bulma and Trunks while I sneak in and get the dragon radar."

"How in the hell am I suppose to distract them?!"

"You'll think of something, now go!"

Frieza walked over to the door and knocked on it.

An old, bald man answered the door. "Well hello!"

Frieza hesitated for a minute before speaking in his most girlish voice. "Are you Trunks?"

"No, I'm the turtle hermit, Roshi, but you can call me whatever you want!"

Frieza slightly blushed. "Uh...are Bulma and Trunks here?"

"Nope they took a quick trip to Mount Paozu, but you're more than welcome to come in and wait for them." Roshi grabbed Frieza's wrist and pulled him in the house.

Cell couldn't help but laugh at the whole display.

"So, what's your name, beautiful?" Master Roshi asked as he sat on the couch beside Frieza.

"Uh...my name...I have a name...it's uh...Freeta!"

"Freeta? That's a cute name for a cute girl."

Frieza slid over on the couch, away from Roshi.

"So why did you want to see Bulma and Trunks?"

"Uh...I'm an old friend of the family, and I wanted to borrow something from her."

"Well Vegeta's here, do you want to talk to him?"

"Hell no!" 'Freeta' blurted out.

"What'd you want to borrow? Maybe I can get it for ya...for a small price."

"What do you mean 'small price'?"

"I don't know, maybe a kiss."

"Would Bulma have to know?"

"Nope, I wouldn't tell her!"

"Fine I want the dragonball radar!"

"Okay, I'll get you the dragon radar!" Roshi exclaimed as he ran out of the room.

"Man, what the hell is Frieza doing in there?! Am I suppose to take the radar or not?!" Cell impatiently asked himself.

Master Roshi entered the room 'Freeta' was in with the dragon radar in hand. "Here it is!"

Frieza went to grab the radar from Roshi, but Roshi stopped him. "You don't get it 'til I get my kiss!"

'Freeta' hesitated for a second, then quickly gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now give me the fucking radar!"

"Is there anything else you need me to get you, Freeta?"

"No I gotta go!" Frieza got up and walked towards the door.

Just as he was about to open the door Vegeta entered the house. "Who the hell are you?!"

"Uh...I'm a friend of Bulma!"

"The woman's not here, so get the fuck out before I blast you!"

"What took you so long?!" Cell demanded as Frieza emerged from the house.

"I got the dragon radar."


Frieza shuddered. "I don't wanna talk about it!"

"What was the deal with the old man?"

"I told you I don't want to talk about it!"

"Did you have to fuck him?" Cell asked, beginning to laugh.

"No! Now drop the damn subject and let's start looking for the dragonballs!"

"Okay, let's get going!"

"Wait!" Frieza yelled before Cell could take off.


"I'm not going anywhere until I get this damn dress off!"

Frieza powered up, causing the dress and wig to fly off of him. "Okay, ready Cell?"

The two tyrants took off into the sky and towards the first dragonball.

After flying for a few minutes Cell started laughing.

"What's your problem?" Frieza asked.

"Oh nothing." Cell answered as he took the camera back out of his tail.

Cell took a few more pictures of Frieza.

"What the hell are you doing now?!"


"Then why are you taking pictures of me?!"

Cell started to laugh harder. "It's just you look so pretty!"

"Huh? What's that suppose to mean?"

"I think that the green and blue make up make you look younger!"

Frieza froze. "Shit! I forgot to take the make up off when I took off the dress!"

Cell snapped a few more pictures before finally putting his camera away.

Frieza grabbed Cell's wrist and pulled him towards the city below them.

"What the hell are you doing, Freiza?!"

"I'm not going dragonball hunting until I get this shit off my face!"

"But it makes you look so pretty. You know, I think your dad would be jealous!" Cell teased.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Somebody's PMSing!"

The tyrants landed in the city and searched for a place for Frieza to wash the make up off his face.

"Let's try here." Cell pointed to a fast food restaurant.

Frieza enetered the fast food restaurant and headed strait for the mens room.

Just as he was about to enter the bathroom one of the employees stopped him. "Excuse me, miss! The woman's bathroom is over


"Why in the hell would I want the womans bathroom?!" Frieza demanded.

"Oh, you're like a dude! Sorry about that man!"

Frieza ignored the employee's apology and went in the bathroom.

Frieza found a sink and started to wash his face when a man came in holding a beer bottle.

"Hiya missy." the drunken man managed to slurr out.

Frieza continued to wash his face.

"So yas wanna make some moneys?" the man grabbed Frieza's arm and started to rub it.

Frieza turned around and grabbed the man's arm and threw him into one of the stalls.

"I'll bes waitin' fors ya in here!" the man called out from inside the stall.

Frieza finished up in the bathroom and went outside where Cell was waiting for him.

"Took you long enough!" complained Cell.

"Why are you complaining? You're not the one who gets mistaken for a fucking girl!"

"Well it's not your fault, if your father wouldn't have been on drugs when--"

Cell's statement was interrupted by the sound of the dragonball radar.

"It looks pretty close to here! Let's go!"

They followed the dragon radar until they reached the city that the dragonball was in.

"Look at all the people here! How are we ever gonna find the dragonball?" Frieza asked.

"I don't know. We could ask somebody."

"You're such an idiot! What do you think we're just gonna ask somebody where the dragonball is and they'll give it to us?!"

"You never know!"

Frieza grabbed the next person he saw. "Do you know where we can find a fucking dragonball?!"

"Yep, sure do!" the woman cheerfully responded as she rummaged around in her purse and pulled out the three star dragonball.

"Told ya!" Cell said as he stuck his tongue out at Frieza.

"Can we have it?" Frieza questioned the woman.

"Sure! You guys are cool!" the woman handed over the dragonball.

"Wow that was easy!"

"Told ya Frieza!"

"Shut up and let's try to find the next dragonball!"

It didn't take Cell and Frieza long to find the rough area of where the second dragonball was and get there.

"Do you see it, Cell?"

"No. What about you?"

"Just our luck! One of the dragonballs has to be in a desert!"

"Well you bitching about it isn't going to change it!"

They saw a shimmer from the other side of the desert.

"Do think it was the dragonball?" wondered Cell.

"I don't know."

"Let's go check it out!"

The approached the spot where they saw the shimmer and couldn't find anything there either, until they saw something moving out of the corner of their eyes.

They turned around and saw the dragonball sitting on top of a crab.

"Look, the six star dragonball!" Frieza exclaimed.

"I'll get it!" Cell volunteered.

"Be my guest."

Cell approached the crab and grabbed the dragonball from on top of it.

"Catch!" Cell yelled at he tossed the dragonball to Frieza.

Cell then used his tail to absorb the crab.

"Hungry?" asked Frieza.

"Putting on make up takes alot of energy."

"Yeah, well try wearing it!"

"Can you see another dragonball on the radar?"

Frieza grabbed the radar. "I see one, but it's pretty far."

"Well haul your ass!"

"Do you think your plan will really work, Frieza?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"What if we can't find all the dragonballs in time?"

"Oh we will."

Cell and Frieza made their way to the city where the third dragonball was.

"Damn this is a big city. How are we gonna find the dragonball in a place like this?"

"Hey, I figured out how to make the dragon radar zoom in!" Frieza exclaimed excitedly.

"That helps."

"According to the radar it's in there." Frieza pointed towards a building.

"A karaoke bar?"

"I guess."

"Well let's go get it!"

"Welcome to The Karaoke Bar!" a waitress greeted Cell and Frieza. "Great costumes!"

"Costumes?" Cell and Frieza said in unison before noticing that the bar was filled with men in costumes.

"Hey cutie, buy ya a drink?" a man wearing a chicken costume asked Cell.

Frieza started laughing.

"Uh...here buy him a drink!" Cell pointed to Frieza.

The man turned his attention to Frieza. "You're cute too! How about I buy you a drink?"

Frieza slightly blushed. "Uh...I can't I have to help Cell with--"

Cell interrupted Frieza. "It's okay, Frieza. I don't need your help. I'll find the dragonball and come and find you...if you're still here!"

"What the hell is that supppose to mean?!"

The chicken man answered for Cell. "It means you might be coming home with me!"

Frieza went to turn to Cell, but noticed that he had disappeared. "He is soooooooooooooooooooo going to pay for this!"

"Where could that dragonball be?" Cell asked himself outloud.

"You lookin' for something?" another man wearing a rabbit costume asked.

"Uh yeah, I'm looking for a --"

Cell cut himself off when he looked over at a table and all the guys waved at him. "What the hell kind of place is this?!"

"It's a men only bar, if you know what I mean." the man winked at Cell.

Cell was about to back away from the man when he noticed the dragonball sitting on the stage.

Cell ran over to the stage and was about to grab the dragonball when some man stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?! That's the prize for the karaoke competition!"

"Karaoke competition?"

"Yep, it starts in ten minutes! You should enter!"

Cell walked away from the man. "Dammit where the hell is Frieza?!"

Cell finally found Frieza sitting by himself at a table in the back.

"Where's the chicken guy?" Cell asked.

Frieza pointed down where the chicken man was out cold on the floor. "He was getting annoying."

"Okay, I found the dragonball, but--"

"You did?! Well where is it?"

"Yeah about that...it's the prize in the karaoke competition. The only way to get it is to enter and win."

"Can't we just blow this place up and take the dragonball?"

"What if we kill someone? Then we'll be sent back to hell!"

"Oh yeah, so who's gonna enter?"

"Well since you seem to be more popular you should be the one."

"What?! There's no way in hell that I'm doing any more humiliating stunts! It's your turn now!"

"I know a way to decide. Part of the competition is costume. Why don't we ask someone who's 'costume' is better, and who ever they say will enter."


Cell grabbed a man dressed as a cop by the collar of his shirt. "Who's costume is better, mine or his?"

The man thought for a second. "Well you're both cute, but I have to go with the grasshopper!"

Cell threw the man down.

"Have fun Cell!" Frieza laughed.

Cell walked away mumbling something about not being a grasshopper.

Cell walked over to the registration table. "I wanna enter the karaoke competition."

"Okay, your name?" the registration woman asked.


"Great name, it goes well with the costume."

Cell growled.

The woman grabbed a piece of paper and handed it to Cell. "Pick what song you want from this list."

Cell scanned through the list in his head. "YMCA, It's Raining Men, what the hell?! I don't know any of these songs!"

"Bingo! I've heard King Kold sing this song alot!" Cell said before telling the woman the song.

"Okay you're all set! You are number four, so be ready!"

"It's about time that it's Cell's turn to make an ass outta himself!"

A man walked out onto the stage. Okay, it's time to start tonights karaoke competition! Tonights grand prize is this lovely orange crystal ball!"

"It's a dragonball, you baka!" Frieza thought to himself.

"Okay, give it up for our first contestant, Peter Cottontail!"

The crowd cheered as the rabbit man came out and started singing 'YMCA'.

"Damn, this is gonna be one looooong competition!" mumbled Frieza.

The said 'Peter Cottontail' finished singing along with contestants two and three.

"Okay let's bring out contestant four, Cell!"

"This should be interesting!" Fieza laughed.

Cell walked out to the middle of the stage and the music started to play.

"Why this song?" Frieza asked his head.

Cell started singing the song 'Too Sexy'

About half way through the song Frieza pulled out a camera and started snapping pictures.

"I hope Cell doesn't think that he's the only one who brought a camera!"

Cell finished singing and the whole crowd cheered for him.

"Cell! Cell! Cell!" the crowd chanted his name.

Cell left the stage and joined Frieza at his table.

"So what'd you think?" Cell questioned the tyrant sitting beside him.

"Why did you have to pick that song?! I can't stand it when my father sings it!"

"I'm glad your father always sings that song 'cause the only reason I knew that song is because of him singing it all the time."

Cell and Frieza sat in bordem as the rest of the competiton was carried out.

"Okay it's time to announce tonights karaoke winner...contestant Cell!"

The crowd cheered again as Cell went up to the stage to claim his prize, the one star dragonball.

"Congratulations! For your awesome and sexy performence I am awarding you with this crystal ball!" the man handed Cell the dragonball, but not before winking at him.

Cell quickly snatched the ball and went back over to where his fellow tyrant was.

"Can we go yet?!" a very bored Frieza demanded.

Cell didn't bother with Fireza's question and headed towards the door.

Frieza followed.

Once outside the tyrants took off in a random direction in the sky.

"What the fuck is up with all the gay people?! There weren't this many when I was alive!" Frieza complained.

"I know what you mean! You're probably the one who's attracting them!"

"You just keep talking, grasshopper!"

Their little 'argument' was interrupted by beeping.

Frieza pulled out the dragon radar.

"Do you see a dragonball?" asked Cell.

"I see one! It's this way!"

"What the hell? Is this where the next dragonball is?" Cell asked as the two floated above a stadium.

"That's what the dragon radar says."

"Well let's go check it out."

"Damn, there's gotta be a thousand people here!" Frieza said as he looked around at all the earthlings filling the seats.

"How are we ever suppose to find the dragonball?!"

"I don''t know."

"Can't the radar zoom in anymore?"

Frieza pushed the top button on the radar. "No, it's zoomed in as far as it can go."

"Great! Now what?! It'll take us all day to find the damn ball!"

Before another word could be said a group of kids appeared around Cell.

Frieza slowly backed away from the surrounded Cell.

"What the hell do you brats want?!" Cell demanded.

A little girl pulled Cell's arm.

"Can I have your autograph Mr. Grasshopper?" the girl asked sweetly.

"What the hell? What do you mean by 'Mr. Grasshopper?" Cell asked the asker.

"Uh Cell, I think you should take a look at this!" Frieza instructed Cell.

Cell turned around and looked at the billboard at the back of the stadium.

The billboard had a picture of a man in a grasshopper costume and had big letters saying 'Home of the Windsor Grasshoppers!'

Frieza started laughing. "I guess they think that you're the mascot!"

The little girls eyes started to water. "You mean you're not Mr. Grasshopper?"

Just as Cell was about to break that little girls heart he saw an orange glimmer coming from one of the kids that were surrounding him.

"Could that be the dragonball?" Cell mentally asked himself before noticing that the glimmer had four stars on it."It is the dragonball! But how am I gonna get it? Hey if they think I'm this 'Grasshopper' guy, maybe I can them to give up the ball!"

Cell smirked and answered the sad girl. "Of course I am!"

"What the hell is he doing?" Frieza asked himself.

Cell signed some autographs for the kids until he reached the kid possessing the dragonball.

"Can you sign this for me?" a small boy held up the dragonball.

Cell quickly thought up a plan to get the ball.

"Uh...your ball is made of glass and if I sign it the signature might wipe off." Cell lied.

The boy put on a disappointed face.

"How about I trade you for the ball, so that way I can still give you an autograph?"

The boys face brightened. "Really? Okay!"

Cell grabbed the dragonball from the boy and grabbed a near by paper plate that had been thrown on the ground.

"Isn't that garbage?" wondered the boy.

"Uh...yeah...well actually it was my plate, so that makes it special!"

Cell scribbled something down on the plate and handed it to the boy.

"Thanks Mr. Grasshopper!" the boy grabbed onto Cell's leg.

Frieza once again got out his camera and snapped more pictures of Cell.

"Get the fuck off me, brat!" Cell growled.

The boy immediately let go of the legs and ran off with tears streaming down his face.

"Alright! Four down and three to go!" Frieza exclaimed happily.

"Okay, ready to go hunt down the fifth ball?"

"Hell yeah!"

The tyrants took off into the sky.

The boy, who was still crying saw Cell and Frieza take off.

His face lit up. "Wow! Mr. Grasshopper can fly!"

"Are we getting close to the dragonball, Frieza?"

Frieza looked at the radar. "Shit! We passed it!"

"Nice going!"

"Let's go back!"

The tyrants back tracked until the dragon radar said they were right above the dragonball.

"Okay, it should be right down here." Frieza explained.

"You're kidding right?" Cell asked as he examined the location.

"No, that's what the radar says."

"Well there's no way in hell that I'm dealing with anymore snot nosed brats!"

"How do you that there'll be kids here?"

"Look at all of the brats down there!" Cell pointed to a group of kids entering the building.

"Who cares if there's any kids there?"

"Who cares?! I care! I just got attacked by a swarm of them back at the damn stadium!"

Freiza chuckled "A swarm?"

"Actually not a swarm...they were more like a plague!"

"Oh come on, it couldn't have been that bad!"

"Didn't you see them?! They were pulling and poking and licking and---"

Frieza interrupted Cell "...licking?"

"Yeah, one of those little demons licked me!"

"And that's as bad as having to kiss that bastard Roshi?!"

Cell started cracking up. "So you did have to kiss him!"

"Shit,I shouldn't have said that!" Frieza thought to himself.

"Oh well, who cares about what already happened. The important thing is that we have four dragonballs."

"Yeah, I guess you're right...for once!"

"What's that suppose to mean!?" demanded Cell.

Frieza ignored Cell and started flying down towards the ground.

"Chuck E Cheese? What the hell is that!?"

"That is the location of the fifth dragonball, Cell."

"Obviously! I mean what the hell is this place!?"

"How should I know! I just hope it isn't another gay bar!"

"I know what ya mean!"

"No you don't! You weren't the one being hit on!"

"Quit your bitching and let's go get the dragonball!"

"Holy shit, what's with all the brats!?" Cell yelled in shock as the two entered Chuck E Cheese.

Frieza was amused by Cell's reaction to all of the kids.

"I don't get it, Cell was the strongest fighter in the universe when he was alive, so why is he scared of human children? He could kill all of them with thinking!" Frieza asked himself in his head.

A few of the children saw Frieza and Cell and ran over to them.

"Are you Chuck's friends?" a little girl asked the duo.

"Who in the hell is Chuck?" Frieza questioned.

The girl turned around to show Cell and Frieza who Chuck was, but when she turned back around the tyrants were on the other side of the building.

"Do you see the dragonball yet, Cell?"

"No, what about you?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I knew where the damn dragonball was!"

"Now I see why you had to go to anger management when you first went to hell!"

Frieza glared at his partner.

The,as Cell would call them 'plague' of children followed Cell and Frieza.

"Dammit the kids are back!"

"What is their damn fascination with us!?" Frieza said, starting to get angry.

As soon as the kids were close enough to touch them Cell powered up, so that the energy around him would stop the kids from getting close to him.

Frieza also powered up.

The energy around Cell and Frieza scared the kids off.

"I wish I would've known that back at the stadium!"

"I don't because you wouldn't have gotten the dragonball!"

A bunch of kids gathered around a glass display case.

"I wonder what they're looking at."

"Do you think it could be the dragonball, Cell?"

"I don't know."

The duo went over to see what the kids were distracted by, and sure enough there was the dragonball sitting in the case.

Frieza, using his energy shield to get through the kids walked up so that he was right infront of the case.

"Hey, what do ya think you're doing?!" a man who appeared to be an employee demanded.

"I'm taking my dragonball!" Frieza snapped at the man.

"Dragonball? This is the prize for whoever gets five hundred tickets!"

"Tickets? What the hell are those?"

The man pointed towards the arcade part of the building. "You play the games and win tickets, then you trade in the tickets for prizes."

"You expect us to play games like these pathetic earth brats?!"

"You're gonna have to if you want that thing you freaks want that thing you call a dragonball!"

"Freak!?" Frieza pulled his arm back and clenched his hand into a fist. "I'll teach you to make fun of the most powerful being in the universe!"

"Fireza!" Cell yelled out the name of his partner.

"What do you want, Cell?!"

"Remember what happens if you kill someone? You'll get us sent back to hell!"

Frieza through the man down. "You're lucky!"

The children scattered when the man hit the floor.

"How in the are we gonna get the dragonball without killing anyone?!" Cell asked, getting annoyed about the situation.

"We have to get five hundred of those ticket things!"

"But how are we gonna do that?!"

"Leave it to me." Frieza explained, with a slight smirk on his face.

Frieza walked over to a kid sitting by himself.

Frieza grabbed the kid by his shirt. "Give me all of your tickets!"

The kid fearfully handed over his tickets.

"Dammit! The brat only had twelve tickets!" Frieza said to himself before approaching another kid.

"What the hell is Frieza up to now?" Cell wondered as he spotted something on the ground.

Cell walked over and picked up what he saw. "A token? Well I wouldn't want to waste it!"

Cell headed over towards the video games. "And besides, it'll help us get the dragonball."

"Damn, nine kids and I only got eighty three tickets! At this rate I'll have to rob this place to get enough tickets!"

Frieza spotted a kid that looked like he had alot of tickets. "Hey kid!"

"One hundred more points and I'll get the high score!" Cell exclaimed as he launched his last ball.

"Wow, check that dude out! He's gonna like egt the high score!" a kid said excitedly to his friend.

"Alright, I got twenty five tickets from that kid!" Frieza smirked. "Now we have a hundred and eight."

"Hey did you hear that dude is getting the high score at the pinball machine?" Frieza overheard a kid saying.

"Hmmm my next victim."

Frieza approached the pinball machines, that were totally surrounded by kids.

"What the fuck?!" Frieza yelled at Cell, who was happily playing pinball.

Cell looked over at Frieza.

Cell's looking over at Frieza caused him to get a game over. "Shit!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Fireza asked.

"You made me lose my last ball!"

A bunch of tickets started coming out of the machine.

Frieza grabbed the tickets and added them with the others.

"How'd you get so many tickets, Frieza?"

"I persuaded some of these little locusts to give me their tickets."

"How many do we have so far?"

"Uh..we have one hundred and thirty nine."

"That's it?!"

Frieza nodded.

Frieza saw another group of kids around the ski ball machines.

"I'll be back." Frieza said before wandering away.

"Damn, I don't have any more tokens! And I don't have any money either!" Cell slammed his fist on the pinball machine.

That action caused the machine to spit out tokens.

Cell started gathering the tokens. "And that idiot Goku said that violence never solves anything!"

Cell looked at the pinball machine that now had a hole in it. "Damn, now I have to find another machine!"

After a little while of robbing kids' tickets Frieza rejoinned Cell, who was still playing pinball.

"I thought you lost your last ball. How'd you get more tokens?"

"I beat up the other pinball machine." Cell explained as he tilted his head towards his old machine.

"I bet that's a victory you proud of!" Frieza laughed.

"I got the high score again!"

The machine started spitting out more tickets.

Frieza counted the tickets."We finally have five hundred!"

"Now we can get the fifth dragonball!"

"Let's go get it!" Frieza started walking towards the display case.


Frieza turned around. "What? Come on!"

"Can I finish this game?"

Frieza answered Cell's question by shooting a ki blast at the machine.

"What'd you do that for!?"

"Because I had to get your ass off of this fucking machine!"

Frieza and Cell cashed in theor tickets for the two star dragonball.

Frieza took out the dragon radar. "Okay, let's go get the sixth ball!"

"Can't I play one more game of pinball?"

"No, now let's go!"

"Alright." Cell pouted.

They stopped outside of Chuck E Cheese.

"Do you think we could get a pinball machine in hell?"

"What the hell is with your obsession with pinball!?"

"I've had alot of practice."

"How'd you practice?"

"Do you actually think I stood in my ring for the whole ten days before my tournament?"

"You didn't?"

"I got bored and went to a deserted arcade."

Frieza started laughing.

"Do you see the sixth dragonball yet!?" a very annoyed Cell demanded.

Before Freiza could answer a woman walking her dog passed by.

The dog stopped by the tyrants and started growling.

"Come on, boy!" the woman ordered her dog.

The dog didn't obey and instead bit Frieza's tail.

"Sorry about that. Come on, boy! Let's go!"

"Shit! That fucking mutt!" Frieza yelled, rubbing his tail.

Cell started laughing.

"Stop laughing!"

Cell continued to laugh at Frieza's expense.

"Just you wait 'til I show the guys in hell the pictures I got of 'the great Cell' playing pinball!" Frieza thought as a smirk appeared on his face.

"Why in the hell are you smirking? I was the one who was laughing at you!"

"Huh?" Frieza, who was now day-dreaming about humiliating Cell with his pictures snapped back into reality.

"Do you see the sixth dragonball or not!?"

"No." Frieza replied, clutching the dragon radar in his hand.

"Dammit! It's probably on the other side of the fucking planet!"

Frieza blushed with embarassment. "Or it could be that I forgot to turn the radar on."


Frieza turned on the dragonball radar and it started to beep. "I guess it is around here."

"Well, how far is it?!"

"Not to far from here."

With that the duo took off.

"Just two more dragonballs and we'll be able to wish for..."

Frieza interrupted Cell's thoughts. "It's so nice being out of hell!"

"I know. I men it's fun torturing the guards, but even that gets boring after a while!"

"And the Ginyu Force can only teach you their poses so many times!"

Cell looked at Frieza with a weird look on his face. "Uh..huh..."

"Well it's not there's anything else to do!" Frieza snapped. "At least I'm not obsessed with pinball!"

"I am not 'obsessed'! I've just played it a few thousand times! You're probably jealous because I'm good at something and you're not!"

"I'm good at fighting and ruling the universe!"

"And that's why you got defeated by Goku!"

"So, you got defeated by the son of the monkey!"

"That 'son of the monkey' was stronger than you could ever be! Besides, it was Vegeta's fault I lost because he hit me from behind!"

"Ha! It was Vegeta's fault you died! I killed that pathetic excuse of a monkey with ease!"

"Yeah, before he was a Super Saiyan! I've taken on four Super Saiyans! You died in your first fight with one!"

"Why in the hell are we arguing?"

"I don't know. We were talking about how good it is to be out of hell and the we just started arguing."

"It was your fault!"

"What!? How do you figure?!"

"You were the one who said I was jealous of your so-called 'pinball skills'!"

"You were the one who was bragging about how you can do the damn Ginyu Force poses!"

"What the hell? We're arguing again!"

"Don't look at me!"

"You think I'm the who starts them?!"

"Well it's not me!"

"Why don't we just not talk! That way we can't argue!"

"Fine! You suck at conversations anyways! I think I've had more interesting converstaions with my Cell Jrs!"

The tyrants flew in silence for about a minute before Cell decided to talk.

"Are we getting close to the dragonball yet?"

"Yeah, it's just ahead a little. Hey, I thought we weren't gonna talk!"

"Who gives a damn about that! Let's just work on getting the two remaining dragonballs!"

Back at Capsule Corporation:

"Hey, have you seen my dragon radar?" Bulma questioned Master Roshi.

Roshi hesitated. "Uh...no."

"Then why did you hesitate!?"

"Because I forgot what it was!"

"You're not a good lyer, old man!"

Vegeta entered the room that Bulma and Roshi were in. "That woman I kicked out had it."

"What woman?!" Bulma demanded from the Turtle Hermit.

"I didn't see any woman!"

"I know you're lying, so tell me the truth before I get Vegeta to kick your ass!"

"Fine! Some woman named Freeta came here looking for you."


"She said she was a friend of the family."

"I've never met anyone named Freeta, have you?" Bulma asked Vegeta.

"I make a point of not befriending earthlings...especially women!"

Bulma turned back to Master Roshi. "How did she get the dragon radar?"

"She said that she needed to borrow it."

"And you gave it to her!?"

"Who in the hell was that 'Freeta' I kicked out? She looked familiar, maybe I have met her before, but where?" Vegeta questioned himself mentally.

"Well!?" Bulma demended.

Roshi mumbled something that human ears couldn't possibly hear.

But as we all know Vegeta isn't human, and his Saiyan ears were able to hear Roshi. "He said that he traded it for a kiss."


Frieza and Cell:

"The ball should be right down there." Frieza pointed to the group of buildings below them.

"Do you know which building?"

Frieza went to look at the radar, but his hand slipped and it went plummeting towards the earth.

Both tyrants sped down to try and get it.

Luckily Cell was able to catch it just before it would have landed.

"You almost broke the fucking dragonball radar!"

"It's not like I did it purposly!" Frieza shot back.

"Well, I don't think the radar is safe with you, so I'm gonna hang on to it!"

Capsule Corporation:

"WHAT?!" Bulma yelled.

Roshi blushed. "She was very cute, and she wanted the radar so bad. I just couldn't say no."

"Say no to this!" Bulma punched the Turtle Hermit in the face.

Vegeta snapped out of trying to figure out who Freeta was. "The woman may be rubbing off on me, but I'm rubbing off her too."

Frieza and Cell:

"It's in here." Cell said. looking at the dragon radar.

"A McDonalds?"

"That's what it says."

The duo entered the fast food restaurant.

"Where in the hell could it be in here!?"

"Maybe back there." Frieza pointed to the kitchen where the employees were making food.

The employees screamed when the villians entered the kitchen.

Aside from the employees, a health inspecter was also in the kitchen area of the restaurant.

The inspecter examined both Cell and Frieza. "These have got to be the biggest insects I've ever seen at any restaurant!"

Cell and Frieza were too caught up in trying to find the dragonball to care about the man's comment.

The health inspecter walked up to the duo and sprayed them with Raid (bug killer).

"What the fuck are you doing!?" Cell demanded.

"The bugs won't die!" the man yelled in horror as he scurried out of the kitchen.

"That was interesting..." Cell said, watching the man escape.

"For get about him, we still have to find the dragonball!"

"Oh yeah..."

Cell and Frieza tore the kitchen apart, along with the rest of the store until there was only one place left to look.

"The playplace?"

"It's gotta be in here!"

"Well I'm not going in!" Frieza protested.

"If we wanna find it in time we'll both have to go in!"


"Man, this place is bigger than it looks!" Frieza said in awe as he stood in front of the oversized jungle gym.

"Let's get looking!"

"Where do we start?"

"You start over there and I'll search over here." explained Cell.

With that the villains split up and started looking.

Cell decided to just look around on the outside, since he was too big to fit in the tubes.

Frieza on the other hand could easily fit through the tubes that made up most of the playplace.

After looking through the tubes Frieza slid down the slide to tell Cell the bad news.

"Hey that was actually pretty fun..." he thought to himself.

"Did you find it?"

"No, but one of those little maggots bit my tail! I mean a dog is understandible..."

Cell's laughing interrupted Frieza.

"It's not funny! I didn't see you in any of those tubes trying to find the damn dragonball!"

Cell's laughing haulted. "I can't fit in them!"

"Well where did you look!?"

"Alittle bit around the outside!"

"Did you look in there?" Frieza pointed to the ball pit.

"Hell no! I'm not going in there!"

"I'm not cause I had to look through all of the tubes! Besides I'm sure it has to be in there, there's no where else to look!"

"But those little rodents are in there!" Cell looked at the children covered ball pit.

"So what! You're bigger and stronger than them!" Frieza gave Cell a little pep talk.

Cell swallowed his fear and entered the ball pit.

Unfortunately for Cell all of the balls were orange.

"Great! I'm never gonna find it!"

Most of the children were frightened by Cell's appearance and fled when he enetered the ball pit.

"Why couldn't the brats at the stadium or that Chuck E Cheese place havce been scared of me?!"

Once again Frieza took the oppurtunity to humiliate Cell by snapping a few more pictures to show the guys in hell.

"What?! You brought a camera!?" Cell exclaimed, slightly embarassed.

"Of course!"

Cell had a flashback in his head of all the embarassing stunts that he had done during the course of the day. "Shit!"

The expression on Cell's face was priceless, so Frieza decided to preserve on film.

"Stop taking pictures of me!"

"Fine!" Frieza pouted. "Don't forget about the dragonball!"

"Oh yeah."

Cell started his search through the hundreds of orange balls surrounding him.

Capsule Corporation:

"Hey I got that Freeta woman on our security camera! I don't recognize her, do you Vegeta?"

Vegeta walked over to the monitor. "No."

"Oh maybe Trunks knows her."

"I doubt that! The brats is still afraid of women!"


Vegeta walked back over to the wall he had been leaning on when an image poped in his head, an image of Frieza. "That's is!"

"What's it, Vegeta?" Bulma questioned.

"That so-called 'Freeta' is Frieza! But I thought he was in hell!"


"Yes, I'm sure of it! I've worked with that lizard long enough to know that that was him!"

"But why would he need the dragon radar?"

Bulma and Vegeta looked at eachother. "The dragonballs!"

Frieza and Cell:

Cell emerged from the ball pit with an orange ball clenched in his hand.

The difference that sepperated ball from the others was that this ball had stars on it.

"Now we only need one more!"

"But how could Frieza still be alive!? I thought Trunks took care of him when he came to Earth!" Bulma yelled, still trying to register the situation.

"How the hell should I know!?" Vegeta snapped at her.

Master Roshi sat on the couch in shock. "You mean it was actually Frieza who kissed me?"

Vegeta chuckled alittle at the Turtle Hermits discomfort. "That's exactly what I mean!"

"He has the dragon radar!" a figurative lightbulb went on above Bulma's head.

"Thank you for stating the obvious!"

Bulma chose to ignore her husbands comment. "That means that he's after the dragonballs! Which could mean that he's gonna wish for immortality!"

"Shit, I never thought of that!"

"Of course you didn't!"

Cell and Frieza:

"Now we only need one more!" Cell said triumphantly, holding their newly aquired dragonball.

Frieza smirked. "We'll finally be able to get our revenge!"

"Oh, we'll get so much more than that..."

Capsule Corporation:

"How in the hell are we gonna track that sneaky bastard down without the dragonball radar!?" demanded an angry Ouji.

Bulma slammed her fists down on the table in frustration. "I don't know!"

"How? She was soooo pretty? How could she be that monster?" poor Roshi still sat in shock.

Suddenly Vegeta thought of the answer to his question. "Woman, can't you make another one of those damn radars!?"

Bulma's face brightened. "Of course I can!"

With that Bulma was off to her lab.

Cell and Frieza:

Both Frieza and Cell stood in the playplace daydreaming about exacting their revenge on the Saiyans that they hated so much, that is until girl ran into Cell, bringing him back to reality.

"Damn brat!" Cell growled at the young girl.

"Daaaadddddyyyyy!" the little girl screamed at the top of her lungs, tears streaming down her face.

The two tyrants looked at eachother with identical looks on their faces before slowly walking towards the door.

Before they could reach the door a big man appeared to block his path.

"Who the hell are you?" Cell questioned the man, until he saw that little firl standing behind him.

"I hear you've been messin' around with my little girl!"

"That little demon ran into me! What the hell did I do?!"

"She said you yelled at her!"

"Well yeah, after she ran into me I called her a damn brat!"

"She's just a little girl, buddy, you didn't have to yell at her!"

Cell, who was getting REALLY fed up with earthlings, especially children, walked away.

"What the hell is up with these fucking humans!?" Cell clenched his fists, oh how he wanted to use them.

"I don't know."

"Just think, they use to be scared of us!"

Frieza sighed. "What went wrong?"

The duo continued towards the exit, that is until their path was once again blocked.

"You're not getting away that easily, buddy!"

Cell rolled his eyes, once again walking away.

The man grabbed Cell's arm.

This man was really starting to push Cell's buttons. "Let go of me NOW YOU FUCKING EARTH TRASH!"

"I will once you apologize to 'Kura!" the man gestured to the girl.

Cell supressed his urge to send the man to hell, deciding he'd then have to put up with him when they returned.


Cell pulled his arm away from the man and flicked him in the forehead, causing him to go flying across the store.

Frieza started laughing as the two finally made their wat out of that kami-forsaken place.

Capsule Corporation:

Bulma continued working in her lab, making another dragon radar.

Vegeta had called Kakarot over to explain the current events, but he just wasn't getting it.

"Huh?" Goku had a really confused expression on his face.

Vegeta sighed in frustration. "You are such a MORON! What don't you get!? Frieza is back and he's after the dragonballs!"

The puzzled look remained on the taller Saiyan's face.

Vegeta rubbed his temples. "This is gonna take a while!"

Back to the Tyrants:

"Dammit!" Cell cursed.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't find the last fucking dragonball!"

"That sucks!"

"Let's fly around, maybe it'll show up on the radar once we're closer."

Capsule Corp.:


"You get it now!?" Vegeta asked the younger Saiyan VERY impatiently.

Goku smiled that classic Son smile. "Yep!"

"Finally! Now what are we gonna do? We can't get him until the woman finishes that damn radar!"

"I guess we'll just have to wait!"

"What do you want to do 'til then?"

"Wanna spar?"

Vegeta powered up, he really need to work off the frustration that Kakarot caused him.

With that the two full-blooded Saiyans took off to spar.

"That couldn't have been Frieza, she was sooo cute! It's just not fair." Roshi moped, sitting alone in the Capsule Corp livingroom.

'Freeta' and the 'Grasshopper':

"I see it!" Cell exclaimed.

"Good, is it close?"

"Not really, it's way on the other end of the radar."

"Oh well, let's go get it!"


The villains took to the sky in search of the only thing standing between them and revenge...or so they thought.

"Why the hell did you take tose pictures of me?!" Cell demanded from his partner.

"Because you took pictures of me, it's only fair!"

Cell hmphed.

"...Besides, you looked sooo cute!" Frieza teased.

"Don't think I was the ONLY 'cute one, Freeta!"

"Oh well, atleast I wasn't signing autographs for a plague of human brats!"

"I wasn't 'signing autographs', I was getting us a dragonball!"

"Oh yeah, well..."

The tyrants continued to argue.

Capsule Corporation:

"Ha! I totally kicked your pathetic third-class ass, Kakarot!" the proud Saiyan no Ouji gloated.

Goku put his hand behind his head. "I guess you gotta lose sometimes!"

"...Or everytime you're up against me!" Vegeta gave a very arrogant smirk.

Bulma came ruuning into the room. "I finished the dragon radar!"

"About time!" Vegeta complained.

Bulma glared at her husband. "Excuse me, mister high and mighty Saiyan Prince, but if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even have a dragonball radar!"

Vegeta grunted and went to take the dragon radar, but Bulma moved it before he could grab it. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm not giving you it until you apologize!"


"You heard me! If you want the radar, say you're sorry."

Vegeta clenched his fists and swallowed his pride. "Gomen nasai...baka onna."

Bulma handed over the dragon radar, it wasn't exact her idea of an apology, but what can you expect from Vegeta?

"Come on, Kakarot! Lets go stop that bastard before he can get the dragonballs!"

Frieza and Cell:

"It's just up here!" Cell shouted to Frieza, with a hint of excitement in his voice.

Frieza smiled, evily, of course. "Those monkeys are going to know the wrath of Frieza!"

"Don't forget about me! I've done half the work!"



"Fine, I'll do it again..."

Kakarot and Vegeta:

"Shit! According to the radar, that lizard already has six dragonballs and is on his way to get the seventh!" Vegeta explained.

"Where is the seventh ball?"

"Very close to here!"

"Who's closer to it, us or Frieza?"

"He is, but not by much! If you move your ass we might be able to beat him!"


Both of the Saiyans, who were in their normal state, powered up to Super Saiyans and continued towards the final dragonball.

Cell and Frieza:

The duo landed in an empty field.

"The radar says it's right around here."

"Let's split up, we'll find it faster." Frieza suggested.

"Good idea. You look that way and I'll look this way!"

"Okay, yell if you find it!"

After merely a couple of minutes Frieza held the seventh dragonball high in his hand. "Cell, I found it!"

Cell ran over to his partner.

"We'll finally be able to make our wish!" Frieza said gleefully.

"That was such a brilliant idea Frieza!" Cell praised, referring to their discussion on the bus to Earth.

"Okay Cell, give me your balls!"

That statement didn't sound right to Cell and started cracking up.

"What's your problem?"

"What's wrong Frieza? Don't have your own balls?"

A slight blushline crossed over Frieza's face. "That's not what I meant! Give me your damn dragonballs so we can make our wish!"

Cell, who was still giggling handed over the dragonballs he had on him.

When all seven dragonballs were together Frieza raised his hands to the sky. "Arise dragon!" (Doesn't that sound weird coming from Frieza?)

The dragonballs started to glow, and the sky started to blacken.

Vegeta and Goku:

The two Super Saiyans noticed the sky getting darker.

Vegeta looked at the dragon radar. "Shit! Shit! Shit! He's calling the dragon!"

"Oh no!"

"Come on! We might still might have a chance!"

The Tyrants:

Shenron appeared and was looming above Cell and Frieza. "Why have you summoned me?"

Cell and Frieza looked at eachother.

"We want to wish for..."

"We want to wish for both of us to be alive again!" Frieza told his wish to Shenron.

Kakarot and Vegeta:

"Dammit! The dragon probably already granted that slippery bastards wish!" Vegeta exclaimed at his rival.

"They haven't gotten their wish yet!" a mysterious voice from the sky said.

"Huh? Oh, it's King Kai! Hi King Kai!" Goku greeted his former martial arts master.

"Frieza and Cell..."

"What Cell!?" the Saiyan no Ouji cut King Kai off.

"Yes, I'm afraid that Cell's with him too."

"I thought they were in hell."

"They won a twenty four hour trip to earth. But anyways, the reason I'm talking to you guys is that individually you are not strong enough to defeat Cell and Frieza..."

"What?! We already kicked both of their asses! Why can't we do it again?!" Vegeta demanded from the Kai.

"Their strength has tremendously increased. They are know even stronger than you two. I'm afraid you two will have to fuse."

Frieza, Cell and Shenron:

"That wish can not be granted."

"What the fuck?! Why not?!" Cell yelled.

"I'm afraid that I only have the power to revive one of you."

Vegeta and Goku:

"Fuse? You expect me to fuse with Kakarot? Hell no, my IQ will probably deplete down to nothing!"

"That's not true, Vegeta. I took this test once and it said I have an IQ of seventy three!" Goku said proudly.

Vegeta started laughing. "That's a high IQ...for a Namek! The average IQ of a Saiyan is one hundred and twelve!"

"But I was raised here on Earth."

"Even a human's IQ isn't that pitiful! It has to be atleast a hundred! Just look at the woman!"

"Bulma's a genious though..."

"Will you two be quiet!? In case you've forgotten Cell and Frieza have summoned Shenron! You have to fuse!"

"There's no way in hell that I'm fusing with Kakarot!"

"Come on, Vegeta. It's our only choice."

Vegeta clenched his fists. "Fine!"

"Okay, do you know how to do the fusion dance?"

"What the hell is that!?"

"I'll take that as a no."

The tyrants and the dragon:

"Who are you going to wish for?" Shenron asked.

Frieza looked at Cell. "Who are we gonna revive?"

"I think it should be me."

"Why you?"

"Because I'm stronger, I could do more damage."

"Well, I think it should be me!"

"And why do you think that?"

"I've been in hell longer, therefore I should be the one who gets to leave!"

The two full-blooded Saiyans:

Goku just finished showing Vegeta the steps to the fusion dance.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "I'm suppose to do that?"



"Okay, are you ready?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not if you want to beat Cell and Frieza!"

"Whatever, let's just get this over with!"

"FUSION-HA" the Super Saiyans shouted in unison, doing the actions.

Two Villains and An Eternal Dragon:







The Fused Being:

From the smoke emerged the Vegeta/Goku fusion.

"What's our name?" Goku questioned his counterpart.

"How the hell should I know?!"

"Well, we need a name!"

"Oh and that's sooo much more important than killing those bastards." Vegeta stated sarcastically.

"No, but I don't want to be nameless."


"Oh, we're Gogeta..."

"How in the hell could we have fused wrong?!"

"It's because of YOU Vegeta! You have your darn fist clenched!"

"How do know we fused wrong, Kai!?"

"First of all, it's King Kai to you..."

Vegeta hmphed.

"And secondly, look at yourself!"

Gogeta looked at himself and practically screamed in horror.

The Wishers and the Wishee:





"I'm waiting." Shenron said, starting to get impatient.

Hearing Shenron popped both Cell and Frieza out of their 'me' argument.

"Damn, we're never gonna decide!"

"If you would just let me get revived then we wouldn't have to decide!" Cell explained.

"Well, why can't we decide by picking me instead of you!?"


"Because why!?"


"Wh-what the hell happened?!" Gogeta demanded, looking at the wrinkles covering his skin.

"There are side effects of screwing up the fusion dance, and one of them is aging." Kaio-sama informed Gogeta.

"Shit! How are we suppose to fight Cell and Frieza if we're like a hundred years old?!"

"You're power hasn't decreased, but your limits as a fighter have. Now you can only preform the moves that an old man can do."

"Dammit! We're gonna get our ass kicked!"

"Well, you guys gotta atleast try, if not it'll be the end of Earth."

"Great, we might as well just kill ourself and save them the trouble of doing it!"

"Will you shut up?! If you don't go now you might as well kiss the planet goodbye!"

"Okay, we're going!"

Gogeta took off towards Shenron.

"Shit! Even our speed is slower!"

Frieza, Cell and Shenron:





"Just let me get wished back..."

"What!?" Frieza demanded.

"If you'll let me finish, I won the last hell draw, so that will disqualify me from winning the next one."

"And what about me!?"

"Hopefully you'll win next years draw, and by then the dragonballs will be reactivated!"

"If I don't win!?"

"You know more people, you have an easier chance of going with whoever wins!"

"Are you going to make a wish or not?" a very annoyed Shenron asked.

"So, can I get revived?"

"Fine!" Frieza finally agreed.

"Okay, I want to wish..."

Gogeta landed beside the duo and the dragon.

"What the hell? Who is that?" Frieza asked.

"I'm Gogeta!"


"I think Goku and Vegeta fused." Cell told Frieza.

"That is correct, and we have already killed your sorry asses once and we will do it again!"

Both Cell and Frieza started laughing.

"What are you laughing at!?" Gogeta demanded.

"I don't like fighting with seniors!" Cell laughed.

Gogeta hmphed. "You just keep laughing!"

Both tyrants kept laughing.

"Frieza will be beaten by a Saiyan, again!" Gogeta chuckled.

"I wish this minkey would shut up!" Frieza snapped.

"Your wish has been granted." Shenron spoke as he faded away. "Farewell."

"What wish?! I didn't wish for anything!" Frieza yelled at the disappearing dragon.

The dragon completely vanished and the dragonballs scattered.

"You wasted the wish Frieza!" Cell yelled.

"On what?!"

The duo heard strange, animal-like sounds coming from behind them.

They turned around to see what it was, and there was a monkey replacing Gogeta.

"You wished Gogeta into a monkey!" Cell grabbed his camera. "Shit, I'm outta pictures!"

"I'm not." Frieza snapped some pictures of the monkey a.k.a Gogeta.

"Hey since we're both going back to hell why don't we just kill Gogeta and get sent back early?"

Freza smirked. "I'll finally get my revenge!"

"Even if we didn't get wished back to life, we'll still get to kill both Goku and Vegeta!" Cell said happily.

Frieza raised his hand and prepared to fire a ki blast at the oblivious primate.

He fired his blast, but before the blast could hit Gogeta, Piccolo appeared to block it.

"What the hell? Why is that Namek here?!" Frieza demanded.

"I'm here to make sure that you don't kill Gogeta!" Piccolo pointed to the monkey.

"How did you know that was Gogeta?" Cell asked.

"I have good ears. I came hear when I heard the wish."

Cell looked at Frieza. "Oh well, we'll be able to kill this pitiful Namek with ease."

"I guess you're right! Then we'll finish that monkey off!"

"Let me kill him."

"Why you?!"

"Because I haven't had a chance to kill him yet!" explained Cell.

"Neither have I!"

"But I want to!"

"And I don't?!"

"I know a way to settle this!"

"So do I!"

The tyrants got into their fighting stances.

"Are they going to fight?" Piccolo mentally asked himself.

"Paper, scissors, rock!" the two shouted in unison.

"What the hell are they doing?"

"Paper, scissors, rock!"

"Dammit, we keep getting the same!" complained Frieza.

"Maybe I should get Goku out of here since Cell and Frieza are distracted." Piccolo thought.

With that Piccolo carrrying the primate version of Gogeta took off into the air.

Unfortunately they didn't get very far, because shortly after they took off Gogeta 'ooking' (or whatever sound monkeys make!), getting the attention of Frieza and Cell.

"Shit! The Namek and the monkey are getting away!" shouted Frieza.

"Let's just both go after him, and whoever kills him can kill Gogeta!"

"Okay, you're on!"

They shot off after Piccolo, but before they could get to him someone appeared to stop them.

"What the fuck?! Our twenty four hours isn't over yet!" Cell demanded from Baba.

"King Yemma heard about your plans to kill Gogeta and Piccolo, and sent me to take you back early for violating the rules."

"But we didn't even kill either of them yet!" Cell protested.

"But you were about to." replied Baba.

"Dammit!" the duo exclaimed in unison.

"I'm afraid that you two have to come with me."

"But I never even got a chance to develop my pictures!" pouted Cell.

"King Yemma has a one hour photo at the check in station that I'm sure you could use."

"Well at least going back to hell won't be THAT bad since I'll be able to show everyone the pictures I got of Cell!" Freiza thought to himself.

"Touch me so I can teleport you two to the check in station." Baba commanded the duo.

Frieza and Cell decided not to argue and obeyed Baba.

As soon as they touched her, Baba vanished, leaving Piccolo all alone.

Piccolo looked at the monkey he was still holding. "Dammit! How am I suppose to tell Bulma and Chi Chi that their husbands are a monkey?!"

Just then the two monkeys that made up Gogeta divided into two seperate monkeys.

Piccolo looked at the two monkeys.

"I'm guessing that this is one is Vegeta." he looked at the spandex clad primate. "So this one must be Goku."

Piccolo proceeded to fly towards Capsule Corp. "Maybe I should tell Bulma first...because I don't think I'd live to tell her if I told Chi Chi first."

Cell, Baba, and Frieza appeared infront of King Yemma's desk.

King Yemma looked down at the two villains. "You have abused the priviledge of going back to Earth. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"Damn that monkey!" was all Frieza said.

"But we didn't even kill anyone! That's bull shit!" Cell spat at Yemma.

"Do not speak to King Yemma like that!" Baba warned Cell.

"It's okay, Baba. But as punishment for your actions, I am disqualifying both of you from the hell draws for the next ten years!"

"What!?" the tyrants yelled in unison.

"I heard your plans to come back next year, and I am not going to give you that oppurtunity.

"That's not fair! We didn't even do anything!" argued Frieza.

"What's not fair is you two abusing your trip to Earth. I have nothing left to say. You can go back to hell, where you belong."

"But what about my pictures?" pouted Cell.

"Oh yes, King Yemma, may Frieza and Cell develop some pictures in your photo lab?" Baba questioned on behalf of the villains.

"I usually only let people from the upper world develop their pictures here, but I will make an exception."

"Because those are very humiliating pictures." Yemma added in his head.

Frieza and Cell handed their cameras over to King Yemma.

"I will have them ready in one hour. Come back then."

"But what do we do 'til then?" wondered Frieza.

"I don't know, go play on Snake Way or something." Yemma replied.

The two started heading towards Snake Way when they spotted a BIG screen TV.

They couldn't help but laugh at what was on it. There was Piccolo flying with the monkey versions of Vegeta and Goku.

"Can we watch TV instead?"

"As long as you don't bug me, I don't care." King Yemma told the tyrants.

"Okay, can we have some popcorn?" asked Cell.

"Now you're pushing it."

Back on Earth (or the TV):

Piccolo knocked on the front door of Capsule Corp.

Bulma opened the door and laughed when she saw the two primates. "Awwwww, this one looks like Vegeta!"

"Actually, he IS Vegeta."


"Cell and Frieza wished him and Goku into monkeys."

"You mean Vegeta is that monkey?" Bulma asked in disbelief.

Piccolo nodded as he put 'Vegeta' down.

"We can wish him back, right?"

"Yes, but not until the dragonballs are active again."

Bulma looked at the spandex sporting chimp that stood before her and laughed. "Well, atleast I won't have to listen to his bitching for another year."

'Vegeta' folded his arms over his chest.

Bulma laughed again. "His attitude hasn't changed!"

"I have to go tell Chi Chi now."

"Good luck, bye Piccolo."

With that Piccolo took off and started flying towards Mount Paozu. "I'll need it."

Cell and Frieza:

Frieza and Cell sat infront of the TV with a bowl of popcorn, laughing their asses off.

"This is great!" Cell said, stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Frieza was laughing too hard to comment.

Piccolo (the TV):

Piccolo arrived in front of Goku's house and knocked on the door.

Gohan opened the door. "Hey Piccolo!"

"Hi Gohan."

"What's with the monkey?"

Piccolo hesitated before answering. "That monkey is Goku."

"T-that monkey's my dad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

'Goku' jumped out of Piccolo's arms and ran into the house.

"Where's your mother?" Piccolo questioned Gohan.

"I'll tell you where I am, right here! And what the hell is a monkey doing in the house!?" Chi Chi demanded.

"Maybe you should tell her, Gohan."

Gohan nodded and explained what happened to Chi Chi.

A few minutes later Chi Chi's scream could be heard all across the mountain.

"Uh, mom are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Just because me husband is a monkey..." Chi Chi fainted.

Gohan was able to catch his mother before she could hit the ground.

"Are you gonna be able to look after your dad until your mom wakes up?"

Before Gohan could answer they heard a bang come from inside the house.

The two fighters looked at eachother. "Dad!" "Goku!"

Cell and Frieza:

The duo still sat infront of the TV.

"I think this is even better than killing them!" Frieza laughed.

"I don't know about that, but it's a hell of alot funnier!"

Cell reached into the popcorn bowl to get more popcorn, but the bowl was empty. "Damn, we're outta popcorn!"

Frieza spotted one of King Yemma's workers. "Can you get us some more popcorn?"

The worker nodded.

"And some pop too!" added Cell.

The villains turned their attention back to the TV.

Piccolo and Gohan (the TV):

Gohan and Piccolo ran into the house to see what the noise was.

Gohan couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

'Goku' was throwing random things out of the fridge.

"I guess that really is my dad!" Gohan giggled.

Piccolo sighed. "Even as a monkey he's the same."

The monkey, who had a banana hanging out of his mouth turned around to face the duo.

The Other World:

King Yemma handed the pictures over to Baba.

Baba walked over to where Cell and Frieza were still watching events unfold on earth.

"Your pictures are ready."

The villains collected their pictures from her.

"Does that mean we have to go back to hell now?"

"Yes, I will transport you there."

"Dammit! Can we atleast finish our popcorn?" Cell questioned.

Baba shook her head no. "King Yemma said to take you back to hell right after I give you guys the pictures."

The tyrants sighed and touched Bab so she could take them back to hell.


"Well, look who's back!" laughed King Kold as Baba and the tyrants arrived.

Baba disappeared back to the upper world.

"Why are you two back so soon?" Jeice asked.

"We got caught trying to kill Vegeta and Goku!" Frieza explained.

King Kold walked over to Cell. "I bet we would have been able to kill those pitiful Saiyans if you would have taken me..."

Frieza glared at his father.

"...and even if we wouldn't have killed them, I'm sure we would've had some FUN!" Kold winked at Cell.

Cell, who was fed up with being hit on, punched King Kold in the face.

The punch sent King Kold flying into a wall.

All of the residents of hell were laughing at Kold, but out of all of them, Frieza was laughing the hardest.

Raditz was the first person able to comtrol his laughter. "I take it you were around alot of gay people today?"

"More than you can imagine, and it wasn't just gay people. We also had to deal with...children."

Everyone in hell shuddered.

"What's with the pictures?" wondered Jeice.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I took some really hilarious pictures of Frieza!" Cell told the others happily.

"I have pictures too! And mine are humiliating pictures of Cell!"

The 'hell mates' sounded intregued at the sound of pictures and gathered around the duo.

Cell pulled out his pictures and looked through them.

"Shit! Like half of my pictures are missing!" yelled Cell.

Frieza smirked. "I guess you won't be able to show everyone your pictures of me!"

"Obviously you weren't listening! I said onlt about HALF of myy pictures are missing!" Don't worry though, I still have some really good pictures of you, Freeta!"

Frieza blushed.

Everyone got confused when Cell said the name Freeta.

"Is that like a girlfriend you got on earth, Frieza?" asked Burter.

Cell decided to answer that one for Frieza. "Not exactly, but you'll find out!"

"Can we see your pictures?"

"Sure!" Cell gladly handed the pictures of Frieza over.

Cell's Pictures:

A few of Freeta on Mount Paozu. (Make up, wig and dress included)

And some more of Frieza when he just had the make up on.

After looking at the photos nobody in hell could stop laughing.

Frieza's face was as red as a tomoto by the time Cell received his pictures back.

"Ha! I got better pictures than that of Cell!" Frieza shouted, trying to stop everyone from laughing at his expense.

Cell's face paled at the thought of the pictures that Frieza got of him.

Frieza pulled out his pictures and scanned through them.

"Dammit! Some of my photos are missing too!"

"I wonder what happened to them..." pondered Cell.

The Check In Station:

King Yemma sat at his desk laughing his ass off.

None of his workers knew what he was laughing at.

"These have got to be the most amusing pictures I've ever seen!" laughed Yemma.


The' hell mates' were eager to see the so called humiliating pictures of Cell.

"Can we see your pictures, Frieza?" Guldo asked on behalf of the group.

Frieza handed his pictures to Guldo.

Frieza's Pictures:

A bunch of Cell on stage at the karaoke bar.

Some of Cell surrounded by kids at the stadium.

Pictures of Cell playing pinball at Chuck E Cheese.

Pictures of Cell in the ball pit.

That priceless expression on Cell's face.

A singular picture of the primate Gogeta.

The 'hell mates' were laughing atleast twice as hard at the pictures of Cell.

Cell blushed with embarassment.

"It looks like you guys had a really...amusing time!" commented Jeice.

"You must have alot of interesting stories too!" added Recoome.

"Yes, more than ANYONE can imagine!" replied Frieza.

"Well, can you tell us some?" the now recovered Kind Kold asked.

Cell shrugged. "Sure, why not? We have ten years!"

With that everyone sat down in front of the duo, eager to hear all about their amazing journey.

The End ^_^

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Hail the Prince of Saiyans